Curious

Hi, so I went to the doctor about some abdominal pain and it turns out I may have some sort of medical problem that causes my ovaries or whatever to make more testosterone and not enough estrogen. I’ve always been confused, I still am, because I haven’t had a relationship in either gender, but I find women more attractive and I have like… “thoughts”... about women, that I never have about men. I tried talking to my mum about it but she always brings up very good points like, I haven’t experienced relations yet so how do I know for sure, maybe I just haven’t met “the right” boy yet. And that because I was homeschooled I didn’t have the normal boy/girl interaction that most people get. And now this weird thing which may explain why I’m more of a “one of the guys” than a girly girl could just be down to some chemical imbalance or whatever. So before I was just a little unsure of my sexuality but now I am downright confused. How do you know if you’re definately gay? Do you think it’s something inside you or could those things factor into it? It’s almost like, I need to have relations with a boy and a girl and then figure out which one I preferred, but to be quite honest I don’t like the idea of sex with a boy, and actually sometimes when I look at girls I wish I was a boy because I have thoughts of being the one who is… you know, doing the insertion… rather than the one being inserted. Sorry if that’s too graphic. But maybe that’s all this extra testosterone my body is making that makes me think like that and maybe if I had more girl hormones the idea of sex with a boy would be more appealing?

Hi,
Um wow that is a really confusing situation you have there, personally I have always thought that it is just a feeling you know who or what you are. It can take time to figure it out and to be happy with it but ultimately its a feeling.

A lot of people think that you need to try it out to know for sure but I have friends that have not “been” with either male or female and still Identify as lesbian/gay. Personally I have never “been” with a female but am happily a gay male. I just kinda new, I dated girls when I was younger but never quite had the same feelings physically and emotionally as I do with guys.

I’m no doctor and have no idea how hormones would effect how your emotions are towards same or opposite sex but I still think it would just be a feeling you would know if your not straight, but at the same time you don’t have to box yourself there are so many facets to sexuality and gender identity you don’t have to fit into any one clearly defined box, so long as you are happy with the person you are that is all that matters.

I hope I have helped in some way and not just opened up a Pandora’s box of more questions

well for me,, i think you are born with it,or it may be the way you are being raised…who knows somebody in your family history could have been gay or lesbian so it carries on through time, but it all depends on how you sexually feel towards a gender. romantically is tots different…i found owt i was gay when i was young…now im only open to my friends…and trust me.. ive only met a little bit ov homophobians.. all the rest support me for it..buht how you know if your gay depends on which gender youw would find more attractive either sexually or physically…

A friend of mine has a similar medical condition and she labels herself as bisexual.  She enjoys sexual interactions with both genders and doesn’t question why that is.  She knows she was born this way and doesn’t really think it’s an issue as she’s accepted herself the way she is, with odd ovaries and higher levels of testosterone and attraction to both genders, and only labels herself as bisexual as that’s the category she sees herself fitting into and not because of whether it’s the testosterone or the feelings making her that way.

If that makes sense…

Personally, I think the law of attraction comes down to chemicals.  I believe the chemicals make you who you are whether you have a medical problem or not.  The chemicals are the something inside you that control what you find sexually appealing but you don’t have to listen to them.
I am sexually attracted to girls but sleep with both genders.. chemicals in me make me attracted to women but I enjoy sex with men as well.

I think being confused is okay and that a lot of youth go through a “confused phase.”  The only advice I can give you is to accept yourself for who you are and hopefully you will come to the conclusion of whether you are gay or not without too much worry over the subject.  You will find a lovely person who will accept you for who you are, whether you label yourself as gay straight or somewhere in the middle, and then you will know for certain who you are.